“How Much Ya’ Bench?”

February 15, 2012

So I was having a chat with Mr. Bell the other day.  I was telling him the plight of the Olympic lifter in social situations.  “Oh, you’re a weightlifter?  How much ya’ bench?”  Palm to face.  Usually this will be followed by a bicep curling gesture.  I used to get really up in arms about the whole thing.

“Well actually, I’m an OLYMPIC weightlifter.  You know, like IN THE OLYMPICS.  WE DON”T DO THAT SORT OF THING.” Then I would go on this really dorky explanation of what Olympic weightlifting is, why I feel it is superior to all other forms of weight training and why you’ve never heard of it.  About midway through my lengthy explanation is the part when the new acquaintance will lose interest and walk away.

People don’t care what you do.  People don’t care how much you snatch or what a snatch actually is or why you count in kilos.  So don’t bore them to death by educating someone who is not interested in strength training or fitness with things that don’t concern them.  “Oh, you’re a weightlifter?”  “Yes, I lift weights.”  Then move on.  As a matter of fact, avoid the question altogether.  “Hey, Ben.  You recently did some sort of wrestling or powerlifting competition the other day right?”  “Yup, what did you do this weekend?”

So back to the conversation.  I was wearing a T-shirt from a popular powerlifting website.  I told Mark that if I told people that I was a powerlifter instead of explaining that I compete in Olympic weightlifting, then I might actually score some clients.  “How much ya’ bench?”  Oh, like 505.”  And if they persist, say that you hit 526 from the high board, but didn’t really get a solid lockout.  I just lie.  But you know what?  If I benched more than like once a month I bet I could at least break 400.  So I don’t feel bad telling strangers that.  Keep in mind, they don’t actually care.  They just want confirmation that I’m stronger than the average person.

Check out what I did tonight.  I haven’t bench pressed since the time I hit 155  (As a matter of fact, I haven’t done anything outside of weightlifting except for some bodyweight strengthening at the end of my workouts).  Hows that for linear progression?  I’m going to PR every time I bench for the next 4 months.  I attribute this to Musclemilk Collegiate, the fact that I’m wearing my favorite T-shirt and the Sepultura playing in the background.

“Pounds??!! HA! HA! HA!  How pedestrian.  A weightlifter lifts only in kilos!”

Seriously, I have other T-shirts, but i just REALLY like this one.  I probably wear it 2 to 3 times a week.  In the gym.  In da club.  In da coffee shop.  I stopped caring a long time ago.  Combined with how I wear adidas warm-up pants every single day, I’m surprised my co-workers haven’t started a charity fund.

Here’s the pump up song in the background.

10 Responses to ““How Much Ya’ Bench?””

  1. Brian said

    oh, just a casual “bout tree fiddy” bench press

    its fine

  2. That was the last decent sepultura album and probably my favorite (GASP!!!). Mainly because that entire album front to fucking back grooves so. fucking. hard.

    Also you now officially have the polish weightlifter haircut. I am proud to internet know you.

    How much do you deadlift?

  3. Penn said

    The leg press and the hammer strength chest press has totally killed any answer for “how much can you lift?” How much can you bench? Well, 4 plates on the hammer strength so 400 pounds. How much can I squat? 5,000 pounds and 2 biddies sitting on the weight stacks.

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