My Apology to Boardshorts.

May 17, 2012

Let me preface this post with a big, fat “this post is not about Crossfit.”  First of all, anybody who knows me also knows that I could care less about how other people workout who are not a) myself or b) my athletes.  Crossfit has been nothing but a boon to the Olympic weightlifting scene in America and many of my friends compete in Crossfit/own a Crossfit gym/both.  Secondly, bro’s were working out in boardshorts way before Crossfit gained such popularity.  So I have been hatin’ on people working out in boardshorts way before it became popular to hate on people working out in boardshorts.

Honestly, I wouldn’t even classify it as me hatin’ so much as me simply stating facts.

FACT: I rip boardshorts like it’s the thing to do.

FACT: I have big legs.

IF A+B=C then you can assume that if you are able to work out in boardshorts (without them ripping) than you probably have underdeveloped legs.

Do you think Chigishev wastes his time ripping boardshorts? No. He reps the classic half pulled up singlet and Ironmind headband like a straight gangster.

And don’t even give me that, “oh it’s because you like to wear skinny jeans” bullshit.  They don’t make skinny boardshorts!  And if they did, I wouldn’t buy them because the material is the flimsiest, most constricting material ever developed by man.  I used to buy boardshorts based on whatever is appropriate for my waist (36 and proud).  Each time they ripped.  And I was wearing them where boardshorts are meant to be worn . . . THE BEACH.  I couldn’t imagine even trying to do any squats or lifting in them.  Eventually I just gave up.  If ever there was an occasion that required me to get in the water, I would wear compression shorts or standard PE grade workout shorts.  And whenever one of my lifting buddies would come into the gym wearing boardshorts (he was a 77kg. by the way) I would mercilessly berate him to let him know that I didn’t approve.  Was it out of jealousy or resentment?  I don’t know.  I’m not a psychologist.  All I know is that boardshorts are not meant to be worked out in and I would tell that to anybody even if it was with my dying breath.  At this point, it looks like I’ll be assassinated by Billabong or Hurley.

Anyways, I bought a pair of STRETCHY BOARDSHORTS from Jaco the other day.  And you know what? They’re a pleasure to be in.  But more than that, I squatted a few sets of 5 with 180 the other day no problem.  Are they going to replace a singlet or COMPRESSION SHORTS? No way.  I rep the singlet for life.  I’m just saying I’d like to make an amendment to my boardshorts rule.

Boardshorts: still not OK.

Stretchy boardshorts: OK.

I’m glad we talked about this.  I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my traps.

-Ben

15 Responses to “My Apology to Boardshorts.”

  1. I wish Chiggy was my dad 😥

  2. doogie003 said

    This photo epitomizes how fucking bad ass chiggy is. Just look at his style and how dam thick he is.

  3. camilog75 said

    What about jhorts. Jean shorts that are stretchy and made out of some kinda Lycra.

  4. Chris Theo said

    stretchy boardshorts also useful for the thick-legged/buttocked individual who still likes to straddle their surfboard when waiting for sets (of waves or squats). chiggy sauce.

  5. Willey said

    I didn’t realize lifting in boardshorts was a thing. Not even the frat bros at my university wear them to the gym. I recently ordered a pair of Chubbies (link at end), and the site claims they’re stretchy, and if they are I’ll definitely squat in them. They’re supposed to be some of the nicest shorts you can buy as far as quality goes as well. I’m excited.

    Unrelated, but do you have any experience with wrist pain/injuries? I fell on mine playing soccer a few weeks ago and it’s off and on stiff since then. I just upped my fish oil and slowly rolling it out in the past few days, which helps a bit, but it stiffens up again not long after I stop.

  6. Mike said

    What are the minimum strength requirements for powerlifters to start wearing camo cargo shorts to train in, a la all the elifefts dudes?

    • bclaridad said

      I’m not an expert on powerlifting or powerlifting fashion, but i would say that the only prerequisite would be bald head with a chin beard and or chinstrap facial hair.

      • Joshua Cline said

        One must also be stacking d-bol, test and decca. and doing concentric, banded, dynamic good mornings above 300.

        I know, me and Clint Darden are tight.

  7. Joshua Cline said

    Do you think Chiggy uses creatine?

  8. […] convertible style for the first time today and it feels good and looks good.  This article by Ben Claridad can best explain this style of […]

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